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Writer's pictureMarco

Anxiety: The Best Friend Who Needs Boundaries (Like, Big Ones!)

Updated: Feb 27



 

Questionable thoughts, mixed emotions and unwanted sensations.

 

Wait, did I say best friend...

 





Anxiety has been a recurring theme in my life for decades and it’s only really now that I am starting to understand it. Throughout this series, I will examine why anxiety is more complicated than just a word or a feeling. Exploring how we have evolved this way, its impact on mental health, and most importantly, ways to manage it. We'll debunk myths, explore coping mechanisms, and reframe anxiety from foe to friend. Because even though it might not always feel like it, we can learn to live alongside our anxious whispers and build a life that's full, vibrant, and undeniably our own.


Imagine an alternative Academy Awards show, instead of celebrating triumphs in excellence in cinematic achievements we're acknowledging outstanding mental health challenges. In this alternate universe, one name would be on every nomination list: Anxiety. It's become a household term, spreading faster than COVID-19, which, ironically became its biggest champion. Despite its omnipresence, anxiety gets a dreadfully bad rap. It's like the awkward cousin at the family gathering, whispered about but rarely understood.


Dictionaries define anxiety as a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about something with an uncertain outcome. I prefer to think of it as a thought pattern, a relentless repetition of "what ifs?" echoing in our minds. While it's rarely a comfortable companion, it's important to remember: anxiety isn't inherently bad. It's our built-in alarm system, a primal urge to keep us safe. It’s the only thing looking out for us all of the time. Think of it this way: if a bear were chasing you, a surge of adrenaline and cortisol wouldn't be considered a problem, right? It would be your body's way of telling you to run for the hills. And you would listen! Well most of us would, some people might consider being eaten by a bear an exciting night out or perhaps you have been attending bear defence school. The point is, when the trigger fires, you listen. In the midst of the attack no one stops and takes time to reason and ponder on the situation, hmm ‘What is a bear doing in Queens Park on a Monday?’ No anxiety would be useless if that was the response. It's an emotional hijack and this almost always supersedes rational thinking. It's the same reason that when the bear is replaced by a looming deadline, a critical presentation, or even just the pressure of daily life the response and loss of emotional control can be exactly the same. Our fight-or-flight response gets triggered, even with no physical threat in sight, the anxiety lingers, leaving us feeling paralysed and overwhelmed.


This is where the unfairness comes in. Anxiety, this fundamental part of our being, gets demonised as a disease, a weakness, a character flaw. We hear terms like "anxiety disorder," "anxious wreck," and "just relax, it's all in your head." These labels and dismissals do nothing but stigmatise and isolate those struggling with anxiety's grip. We need to change this and we can! As we move through the series I invite readers to interact and share any thoughts and ideas they have, because as you can see it’s not black and white, it’s always evolving, and if no one takes the wheel, anxiety will pick the destination. Just as accepting your best friend’s offer to drive you to your destination can be helpful, if they’ve been up for 48hrs and are wired on Red Bull and Diazepam it may be best to say thanks, but I’ve got this one.


So, let's raise a glass (or perhaps a camomile tea) to anxiety. Not to celebrate its reign of terror, but to acknowledge its complexity, understand its purpose, and ultimately, find ways to coexist with it in peace. 


Stay tuned for the next part of the series where I will uncover anxiety at its source. Where does it get its instructions from and why and how it has affected me in my life.



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